Too. Full. To. Speak.

From the moment I set eyes on the Zayounas at an innocent little bar on 3rd Ave, a knowing look made it abundantly clear that they weren't going home without a fight, and being the hospitable hosts that we are, the Stones thought it rude to let them take on the challenge alone. Forget Man Vs Food, this is a tale of four heroic human beings, who embarked on a three day culinary extravaganza, which left Hamid popping the Pepto-Bismol tablets like they were tic-tacs - yes you did read that right!

The Blue Smoke
The brief was simple, "We want ribs, steak and booze," Jess had warned me a few weeks before they left a very rainy UK for the minus ridiculous temperatures of NYC. So I tapped up my good friend Yelp who recommended The Blue Smoke. Tensions were high as we made the short walk up to the restaurant on East 27th St, on what was a particularly cold night, and with a famished Hamid and Jonny in tow. The boy's faces dropped as the waitress announced there was a short wait for the table - thankfully Jess distracted them with a drink at the bar to prevent any dribbling over the plates of food passing us by. Widely credited as the founder of New York City's barbecue movement, I was pretty sure this little beauty wasn't going to let me down, in fact it more than delivered. Deciding to ease ourselves in gently (as if) we carefully selected a juicy selection of appetisers - the famous Chipotle Chicken Wings with Blue Cheese Dip, Smoked Black Pepper Sausage with Pimento Cheese and Crackers and Hush Puppies with Jalapeño Marmalade - I can't bring myself to show you pictures of everything, it makes me feel a little nauseous thinking about the amount me consumed, so I'll save pictures for the main course: RIBS, mmm…

Here's a VERY happy Jonny pictured just seconds before he devoured his rib sampler for one (two Memphis Baby Backs, two Kansas City Spareribs and one Texas Beef Rib). I had to give him a stern look when his eyes lit up at Hamid's suggestion of getting the sampler for two, reminding him that we also had sides of Mac n' Cheese, Cornbread, Fries and Pit beans with Pork. Phew, it was exhausting and as we walked back in silence to the Subway, dropping the Zayounas off at their hotel, I remember thinking I'm never eating again. Bah, tomorrow's a whole new day.

Sparks Steakhouse
Following an afternoon full of shopping for Jess and Hamid, meetings and general work malarkey for Jonny and me, erm... Friday coffee with the girls, we met at a bar in Midtown at 7pm for round two! Tonight steak was on the menu and the imminent meaty feast was pretty much all we talked about as we walked the five blocks up Lexington Ave to 'the greatest steakhouse in Manhattan' (the New York Post made this bold claim in 2001, not me. It was bloody amazing, but I figure I have many a steak to sample yet, so I shall save final judgement until our two years are up). Inside the restaurant reminded me of something out of a Mafia movie as we were directed to a huge round table with no frills, just a plain white tablecloth. It was clear this place was all about the STEAK! Funnily enough a few days later Jonny's boss informed him that the restaurant was the backdrop to the legendary gangland murder of mobster Paul Castellano in 1985.

Us enjoying enjoying a steak dinner

Sadly Paul missed out on the steak

As we perused the menu, Jonny announced he couldn't justify paying $25 dollars for an appetiser when he needed to save room for the meat. I think he said it about four times, by which point we were unanimous, there was to be appetiser. I think even after the decision had been finalised, he made his feelings clear at least twice more. No more wine for Jonny, or me it quickly became clear as I went to the restroom, only to return and promptly fall off my chair. Oh the shame, and the bruise, ouch! Anyway, all that can be said is that we had struck gold again, the steak was the biggest, juiciest cut, the sides of hash brown potatoes (everything comes with potato if you dine with Jonny) and creamed spinach were delicious, and despite his efforts Hamid was beaten. The evening ended with another silent walk back to the Subway via a quick stop at Grand Central station where if I remember rightly, Hamid managed to muster an "Oh wow."

The Malt House

Saturday was all about boozing in and around the West Village, so with the snow coming down thick and fast we decided to pick a pub and sit in it. Jonny has developed a fondness for The Malt House on Thompson Street so we met team Z and headed over there for a hearty brunch to line the stomach. Still full from the night before I fear I massively let the side down with my side order of scrambled egg, while Jonny went for the Mac n' Cheese - just to make sure he had a heart attack, and the Z's went for the Fried Chicken Waffle Club (They were the ones on holiday after all). I was also super impressed by Hamid's dedication to the Bourbon, and the J's on the Bloody Mary's, while I slowly sipped my tea! 

Later we braved the cold to meet a couple of Jess' friends for some more bevies on Hudson Street at the Upright Brew House. I'm not sure we were too upright when we left, but it was an awesome evening that once again ended with us devouring some delicious food - It may only have a 'B' rating but I only have good things to say about the Niu Noodle House and it's owner who served us up an Asian feast. 

So in summary, the Zayounas arrived, we ate, we drank, we ate lots more and then some more. Mission accomplished! Sadly all awesome things have to come to an end, yet while we had to reluctantly say goodbye to Jess and Hamid - apparently there is a little champ at home that needs them more than us - you'll be pleased to hear Jonny and I continue to eat our way through NYC! Anyone else up for the challenge?